D-I-V-O-R-C-E

Wine comes in at the mouth
And love comes in at the eye;
That's all we shall know for truth
Before we grow old and die.
I lift the glass to my mouth,
I look at you and I sigh.

WB Yeats

Liz and I went together to Brockton Probate Court for the Pre-Trial hearing on our divorce. I agreed to give her physical custody of Scott and to make her child support payments of $250.00 per week. She was represented by Dympna Moore, an attorney who volunteered through the Catholic Church to work for her. We signed the agreements, we appeared before Judge Steinberger, and all is done.

It was a cold, frosty morning with a bright sky and a warm sun. On the way back we stopped to eat at DaddyO's diner in Kingston. She was wearing a blue sweater, blue jeans, and a blue barrette in her hair. Her eyes still are clear blue. So many memories of our early days together came flooding back. My only consolation is that I know that all things are lost in this life except for love; and I do love her in spite of all the horrible things that happened between us. I hate divorce like death, but I need to remember that Jesus Christ has promised us eternal life in paradise and I do believe that Liz will be there although she herself does not yet know it.

I know I need to give myself permission to love another woman. Although, at the moment I feel like I never will. I cannot take responsibility for Liz, she has, in great measure, brought this upon herself and made it impossible for me to take any other course. God will take care of Liz. If I cannot trust Him to do that in life, how can I trust Him to do that in death?