Peggoty Beach

S'ils n'aiment fors que pour l'argent,
On ne les aime que pour l'heure.

T and I went to Peggoty Beach in Scituate today at lunch time. It is a sandy little cove off Scituate harbor in the nook of the cliff. I dreamed about it once before I had ever seen it when I was enamored of a girl from Scituate. She was in the dream, and the same beach and the large house to the left of the beach. In the dream it was made of glass and was smashed by a wave. The girl cried out in alarm, but I, being seized with fear for a moment, saw that the house smashed by the waves represented the material world and its inevitable end. This beach was the one in the dream, I am sure.

I met with L and her attorney yesterday and agreed to give L physical custody of S. It is the only way for her to keep her SS and her two bedroom apartment. My payments to her will become child suppport and increase by about 30 percent. But the divorce will go through without a trial. I am still sick over this divorce. I wish I could get out of it.

T told me today that he broke up with his girlfriend. This was the one who he had been so excited about the last time he worked with us. He is in his early twenties but I have to commend him for his wisdom in this matter. The girl, and I am speculating as to the details, had been living with someone in the recent past and had not told T about the relationship. He said he would not have gone out with her if he had known because that was not a behavior he could accept from a life partner. He was clearly broken hearted but he had taken the difficult step of breaking off the relationship. If I had such wisdom, I would not have gotten involved with L. Although I do not regret it in spite of the turmoil of the marriage. I love L and always will, but I could no longer countenance her easy ability to get into bed with other men. Divorce seems wrong to me and I hate it. But perhaps T's testimony was the Lord's way of telling me that I am doing the right thing in spite of how wrong it feels.

LP has lent me the book The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. I told her I would read it and tell her what I thought.